Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
So, I have been missing my "Monday Confessionals" ... I feel the need to come clean...confess... clear my conscious and soul of all the evil I have so NOT Done this past week, but may have thought of doing. So here I go (be warned...some of these may astound you!):

I so did not go to a new McDonald's near our house without any of my kids, and order myself a chocolate shake and french fries! How would any mother live with the guilt of doing such a thing??

I absolutely did not gain weight this week from eating junk food, say like french fries and chocolate shakes! HRUMPH. Me...gain extra pounds? The very idea!

No, it was not me that gathered up my hubby's discarded and dirty sweaty socks that he finds it necessary to leave around the house as tokens of his affection for me, and promptly dispose of ALL of them. And when he ran out of socks and asked me so innocently where some clean socks (aka...laundry) were, it was so not me that told him (sweetly of course) that I did not see any of his socks in the laundry either...how peculiar???? Where could they all be????

It was not me.... "the perfect mom"...that was late picking up my daughter from school (WHAT??), and so had to skip putting a diaper or pants on my little one, (because he is on an adamant diaper/clothing strike and refuses to wear either one in the house these days) and put him into the car seat sans diaper/pants and pray to the higher ups all the way to and from my daughter's school that no unpleasant surprises would be left in said car seat.

Now this would be just so bad to do that I did not even think of doing it...really.... this is a confession I am putting up here for my friend..yea, my friend needs to clear her conscious too!
I, oops--I mean, SHE, would never ever cajole my, I mean HER husband into vacuuming our, dang, I mean Her carpets with the "promise" of a "reward" later, and then, <>, not follow through on such an arrangement! Sheesh. Who would do that to their husband???? I ask you. WHO? (Please tell me if you would so I, er, I mean my friend, will not feel so guilty!)

And finally.... I will deny ordering take-out three times last week. Deny. Deny. Deny.

There. I feel much better. Such horrible thoughts to admit to, I know. But could you imagine if I had ACTUALLY DONE any of those things?? Shudder. I have my reputation as "perfect mom" to uphold after all.

Do you need to confess anything you did last week? It will make you feel better...honest. Head over to MckMamas and sign in the confessional now. Go on. Do it!

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