A Mother's Vocabulary

Dumbwaiter": One who asks if the children would care to order dessert.

"Feedback": The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

"Full Name": What you call your child when you're angry with him.

: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

"Independent": How we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say.

"Puddle": A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into.

"Show Off": A child who is more talented than yours.

"Whodunit": None of the children who live in your house.

"Bottle-feeding": An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am.

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